3 problems people with bipolar disorder experience while dating.
Having bipolar disorder can make everyday life a giant hassle. Just getting out of bed sometimes is an epic battle within yourself. Then there is the medication and therapy which can both take a lot out of someone. Add the near-constant mood swings and you can sometimes be a perfect storm of emotions and irritability.
Dating while also suffering from bipolar disorder can be more stressful than a lot of things you deal with daily. I will go over the three most common issues I as a bipolar man suffer from.
1. Insecure about any number of aspects in a relationship.
The constant worrying and overthinking will take their toll on any relationship. Your brain is constantly asking how they can love you when you’re so messed up in the head. How can they want me? You’ll ask yourself time and time again. On the flip side, you might ask yourself what is wrong with them if they genuinely do love you. The disease has ruined you for yourself that you can never accept that you’re good enough or that someone can overlook what you go through.
You have been trained by your brain to approach with caution. Any relationship you enter will be crippled by your insecurities.
2. Self-sabotage.
If I am the one to ruin it then I can’t blame anyone but myself. That’s what you’ll tell yourself. You’re so used to someone leaving that you are too scared to deal with the heartbreak and anguish again, so you’ll wreck it. No matter how great things are going. The fact that things are going well at all is a sign to your brain that something is coming. Something bad is about to happen. You know it because it always does.
Getting close to someone will always be accompanied by a healthy slab of self-sabotage. It has become all you know so accepting something new is not an option. It is very hard to break out of this mode. A simple nice text from that special someone can jump-start sabotage.
You might start doing things you know will make the other person mad, like talking to an ex or flirting with another person. Maybe a few late nights with little communication. Whatever it is you can be certain it will mess up whatever good you have between you and your significant other. Because that is what you know.
3. Secrets.
I have become very secretive. I got used to hiding what I am feeling or thinking out of fear of ridicule or a nasty reaction. If I don’t tell you the irrational things I am thinking about then I can’t get made fun if for it. I can’t make you angry with my ideations of self-harm if you don’t know about them. I can keep that inside to torment myself with.
A secret can also be something as simple as not mentioning you stopped at a gas station. Why? I don’t even know. Maybe you’d assume I was there with someone or maybe I went there with an ex in a past life and I think you might assume I'm looking for them. I am almost 40 and I still can’t figure this out.
These are just the three main problems I deal with. I am still navigating these mental health waters. I hope this helps someone. Perhaps just knowing others experience these same problems will let a little light in.
